marvelcolm:

my life is one big shitpost. i thought fireflies were an urban legend until i was fifteen. on easter three years ago i got 23 texts asking me if i’m “still selling my baby ferret”. when i was seventeen a pigeon flew straight into my face. i thought the great gatsby was based on a true story. when i was thirteen i went trick or treating dressed as naruto and three separate houses thought i was a giant cigarette. one time someone asked me for my name and i said “about half twelve”. my religion teacher asked me why judas betrayed jesus and i said “ because he was a racist, sir”. i have become a meme at my own university for posing like eren jager in front of a giant head statue in front of the library. end my suffering.