just-shower-thoughts:

If I teach my parents something, they’re learning from their mistake.

bunsen:

“so what do you wanna do with your life?”

sparrowwitharrows:

me: lmao fuckin weeaboos amiright? with all their fuckin animoo-

me: *sees a cherry blossom falling* 

me: *internally* kISS KISS FALL IN LOVE 

michaelmyclifford:

mntlmntdsorintd:

jebsrifle:

freekahzoid:

1.7 million ppl are single

1.8 million

1.9 million

2 million

bellefawn:

you’ve heard about “treat others the way you would want to be treated.” now get ready for:

treat yourself the way you would treat others

james-zachariah-carstairs:

dookiediamonds:

caribe-hippie:

youhavearighttoyourwrongopinion:

shop-blvck-nostalgia:

vimbia:

vincisomething:

agnosticwitch:

feathery-soul:

sherlck:

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig.
Contact lenses .
Change your accent .
Change Hand when writing .
Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa .
Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away
Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y’all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

Make sure you set up a solid alibi
Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police