okaymofo:

volatilequeen:

whaticantremembernow:

meghanbeda:

shigod:

youarethebloodinmyownveins:

shigod:

I was ringing up a white couples burrito bowls the other day at Chipotle. Their total was $17.38.

I looked at the guy, and asked, “Is this your trap queen?” with a straight face.

 He looked confused as hell, They then looked at the total.
They started dying for like 3 – 4 minutes possibly while everybody in line looked confused as fuck.

Good times.

I work at Chipotle and I know for a fact that this is bullshit lmao.
The closest your total will be to that is $17.48. I know that for a fact because people always say how it’s only 10 cents off from 1738

Sigh It’s …it’s barely been 24 HOURS into day 1 of 2016 and bitches already out here wildin’. Why the hell do I have to lie about a fucking total? lmao let me drag you real quick bitch, it’s obvious you’ve never done cash and probably just a tortilla hoe. 

Also, maybe you didn’t know but.. it’s called “SALLLLESSS TAXXXX” and (hear me out on this) It’s different in EAAAAAACH STAAAAATE! Crazy right?? 

Anyways the flat sales tax rate on any tangible food item made for immediate consumption or “fast food” varies zip code to zip code but in the zip code of the chipotle I work at it is 10% Keep that in mind.

Now take a look at this:

These are chipotles flat prices for EVERY entree you want plus the standard sized drink you can get WITH your food, if you work at chipotle like you claim, you’d know that regardless of whether it’s a burrito, bowl, or taco, the total will be the same as above. 

Now let’s do some math:

A Chicken bowl + A Steak bowl + A Small drink = $15.80

15.80 + 10% = ….? 

Here are some screenshots of other people who have shared this experience.

You’re excused bitch. 

Alex nooooooo

First heavy clapback I’ve witnessed in 2016 and i honestly didn’t see it coming.

Laaaawd that was cruial

savage

astralflamingo:

iguanamouth:

iguanamouth:

iguanamouth:

gtfoyourcomputer:

iguanamouth:

iguanamouth:

image

about a week ago i found this in a goodwill, one of those “grow in water” toys but

there’s no pictures of what might be inside besides the awful baby clipart, and i am insanely curious about whats actually in the egg 

15 hour adventure starting now

image

9 hours in and there is a crack on the egg, i repeat, crack on the egg

what if it’s really not a baby and it’s a turd

WELL WE GON FIND OUT

image

hour 23 WHAT THE FUFCK IS THAT

THE EGG CONTAINED SOME KIND OF ELDRITCH MONSTROSITY THAT IS NOT A BABY ABORT MISSION ABORT ABORT

I JUST WENT AHEAD AND TOOK IT APART

image

OH

image

HOLY PISSING HELL

image

MY CHILD

IGUANA WHY