Author: misterjazzmaster

the-yatoing-otaku:

ojiisanholic:

facingthewaves:

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

a thing for one of my favorite posts on this site

I will forever reblog this

wonderdashie:

phantasticphil:

fireworksphan:

wow so 2016 started off with dan openly admitting multiple times that he did stalk phil how did we not see this coming

Will Phil ever talk about what it’s like to be stalked by Dan though.

This is all I want in my life

azalea-dylan:

johnrulestheworld:

hickeys are beautiful because they are the only time a bruise results from love and affection rather than harm

false i have a bruise that resulted from my deep love and affection for spaghettios and my inability to hold onto the can of spaghettios

ja-mbles:

humpinghippogriffs:

seerofkarkittens:

pipjustice:

keepcalmanduseyourpatronus:

shlabam:

Never hang out with anyone who says “feminist” the same way Draco Malfoy says “mudblood”.

This is the best way to explain this.

never hang out with anyone who says “men” the same way malfoy says “mudblood” either

Never hang out with anyone who says anything like “mudblood”

unless it’s “vegetables”

zackisontumblr:

haramheaux:

zackisontumblr:

this is the money minaj, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!! 

I just found $2 in my pussy omg!!!!

see it really works!!

themajesticmountainscold:

moffats-army:

theuppitynegras:

siuilaruin:

aria-brook:

gentlenight:

wallflowersperk:

penchant-for-raising-cain:

“You fight like a girl.”

I’m sorry

I didn’t

realise

that 

was 

a

bad

thing

Reblogging because I’m sure the comic readers out there could add some more.

yeah

so sorry

i can’t hear you

over the sound

of me crushing my enemies

This list

was looking

a little

white

so here you go

watch tha

bodies hit

tha floor

this is the best post on tumblr, hands down