In the late 19th century, an inexperienced doctor performed his first surgery n a room full of people. Feeling the pressure, he felt the need to perform the amputation in the quickest time possible, and ended up amputating his patient’s arm in the space of around 25 seconds. In the process of this, he accidentally amputated his assistant’s fingers too. Both patient and assistant died of sepsis, and a spectator died from shock, making it the only operation ever with a 300% mortality rate.
Today I walk into work and there are a ton of people in my building and it’s kind of a mess and everyone is talking and I sort of just blurt out:
“Man, it’s a zoo in here!”
Everyone stopped and looked at me as though I had 2 heads.
Then I realized.
I work at a zoo.
Update: my boss was talking about how he was really excited for an entire week of vacation and was wondering what he should do, so I looked him dead in the eye and told him, with a straight face,
“You should visit the local Zoo, I heard it’s really nice.”
Under pain of death I am no longer allowed to make any zoo related jokes.
Part three: I was cleaning the squirrel monkeys and one of them kept trying to climb up me so I sort of just yelled
“WILL YOU STOP MONKEYING AROUND??”
I forgot my boss was in the next room and he walked and just glared at me
misterjazzmaster 