Author: misterjazzmaster

i'm destinee. I think i'm funny.

cr00klynn:

melonishus:

rootintootinrasputin:

herongale:

youkoofthelovespot:

sparklefairydust:

askthegrandhighboob:

fullofsinfullust:

zzazu:

trenzalord:

geometricdeathtrap:

pugsies:

PLEASE READ. WILL NOT HURT TO AND FORWARD.

Kids are putting Drano, tin foil, and a little water in plastic drink bottles
and capping it up – leaving it on lawns, in mail boxes, in gardens, on driveways etc. just waiting for you to pick it up intending to put it in the rubbish, but you’ll never make it!!!

If the bottle is picked up, and the bottle is shaken even just a little – in about 30 seconds or less it builds up enough gas which then explodes with enough force to remove some your extremities. The liquid that comes out is
boiling hot as well.

Don’t pick up any plastic bottles that may be lying in your yards or in the gutter, etc.

Pay attention to this. A plastic bottle with a cap. A little Drano. A little water. A small piece of foil.
Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM!! No fingers left and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc.

Please ensure that everyone that may not have email access are also informed of this. 

Snopes confirms.

I’ve dealt with these before. If you find one:

  • Do not touch it
  • Do not touch it
  • Clear the area around it. It will explode on its own in time.
  • Once it explodes, do not make contact with the liquid inside. If needed, flush it away with large amounts of water.
  • Do not try to detonate it. You’ll probably be disfigured.

I’ve seen what these can do. The acidic liquid inside can strip the paint off a car.

when i visited vancouver these were everywhere. it’s not a fucking joke they’re actually scary

Just a reminder that there are awful shitty people out there doing awful shitty things to everyone else

there was a bunch of these at disneyland

i found one in my back yard, when i let my dogs out, i pulled them back inside, took my cousins bb shotgun and shot it from a safe distance (i was in my house and shot from the screen door. When it went off, my family and neighbors came running to see if everything was ok. I told them what happened and to watch out for them. 

These things are not a joke! When we went to check the damage there was a fucking hole in the ground. The dirt in my yard is like CLAY.

This !@#$%^&* is bad news

PLEASE DON’T BE AN ASSHAT. PLEASE DON’T LEAVE BOMBS IN PEOPLE’S YARDS.

Please spread this information!

the one fucking time I actually will signal boost cuz I didn’t know about this and would never ever wanna learn about it first hand

we actually had the bomb squad called to our house for something like this and it totally ruined the paint on my big bro’s car.  :c

KIDS ?!Kids are doing this ???

this is scary

which scientist should you fight

geologist: will throw copious amounts of rocks at you. not recommended unless you can also throw equal amounts of rocks back
botanist: knows 1001 ways to poison you. probably shouldn’t fight
zoologist: knows 1001 animals that can kill you. probably shouldn’t fight either
entomologist: spiders. enough said.
physiologist: they know too much about the human body and how to cause optimal pain with minimal damage. not safe.
geneticist: will unleash their army of mutated fruit flies at you. can be either good or bad thing, depending on your preference for flies with legs growing out of their eyes
immunologist: they have perfected the t-cell inspired technique of “death by neglect”. if you fight them you will die in the saddest way possible
microbiologist: please don’t fight someone who is already pissed about antibiotic resistance and can identify bacteria based solely on their smell
climatologist: will choose the battlefield as somewhere in the path of a category 5 hurricane and then leave you to die. do not fight please
environmental scientist: they can control the entire world do you really want to fight them
chemist: have you seen breaking bad? no, do not fight them. do NOT
physicist: will kill you with math. not the best way to go
herpetologist: can probably speak parseltongue and know just which frogs are best at taking over your habitat. only fight if you live in antarctica
cancer biologist: has immediate access to at least 5 different tumor cell lines and knows exactly where to inject them in your heart to cause metastases. don’t even look them in the eye
marine biologist: is a real life aquaman. will lure you with cute river otters and then finish you off with some terrifying deep sea creature. better to just stay home and never leave
psychologist: is basically a mind reader. will drown you in your deepest darkest fears. 10/10 do not recommend to fight
molecular biologist: will kill you organelle by organelle. you will die a slow and painful death while covered in budding yeast
statistician: their power is always over 80%, and they will quickly punt you in the path of a normal distribution even before you can yell “Wilcoxon!”
archaeologist: can use a trowel 59 different ways, and only 9 are for digging. one can only guess the other 50, so may be advisable to stay far away
astronomer: will launch you into space and send you to a planet so inhospitable not even matt damon can make it back this time
pharmacologist: why would you ever fight someone who knows all about drugs. why
computer scientist: they know the perfect algorithm for death. do not fight, even with a firewall
linguist: no matter where you are, they can talk about you behind your back in the native tongue. do you really want death by humiliation. do you
dinosaurologist: are you kidding me?? the answer is no

sugarspicenotallnice:

myechi:

princessoffloral:

collectiveassbutts:

earthswinds:

I need feminism; because the bra straps of a twelve year old shouldn’t make a 40 year old married principal with two daughters “uncomfortable”

So am I allowed to walk around adult women who are mothers and grandmothers at work with my cock out or what

in what world is someone’s dick equivalent to a fucking bra strap

it’s chill, he’s just comparing by width

image

See what your followers think of you.

jameshoffer:

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GREEN = I think you’re cute.
BLUE = You are my tumblr crush.
GREY = I wish you would notice me.
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TEAL = We have a lot in common.
YELLOW = I don’t know you at all.
ORANGE = I don’t like your blog.
BROWN = I don’t like you.
PINK = I think you are unattractive.
RED = I hate you with a burning passion.
WHITE = You scare me.
RAINBOW = BED PLZ.