Author: misterjazzmaster

i'm destinee. I think i'm funny.

laughterkey:

ryanhatesthis:

yournewapartment:

bodecats:

pools-of-venetianblue:

this is the purest video you will see all day, it includes not only practical advice on how to make cats feel comfortable but also:

  • the most patient and long suffering clawdia
  • bob ross, but a vet 
  • squish the cat
  • squish the cat, but with a towel

  • absolute unit mr. pirate

  • a little chubby but quite beautiful

please watch this immediately

Squish! That! Cat!

I considered myself to be well versed on cats/communicating with cats. I’ve lived with at least two cats my whole life, and currently live with two very different cats who I love. Apparently most cats are shoulder cats? My cat Mason has always been very nervous about going up on people’s shoulders, so I thought I’d try the “shoulder cat” technique.

I had to help him up on my shoulders because he’s never done it himself before. But once I got him up there I squished him, he started purring like nobody’s business. I carried him around our entire apartment, up and down staircases, and he was so happy. He didn’t try to leave once! When I put him down he head butted me and meowed and was super affectionate. And of course I gave him a treat.

TLDR- Even if you live with cats and think you understand cats, please watch this video. 

This is honest to god one of the best videos I’ve ever seen

Always reblog

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)

frowningfoxbones:

former-fatty:

dear-tumb1r:

topsiders-tanlines:

thespacemaid:

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

– dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer
– sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

– rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

clumsy-child:

fifiandbogart:

bernardbernieburns:

What was it he did? I cant miss an opportunity to drag Ross

So! First! He made out with Rachel while he was still dating Julie

THEN, he couldn’t decide which one he wanted to date more, so he kept dating Julie and didn’t tell Rachel anything about his decision after they had kissed

THEN he made a pros and cons list to decide whether or not to dump Julie so he could date Rachel and he wrote shit like: Too ditzy, too spoiled, too into her looks, not much in common since she’s just a waitress, and she has fat ankles

THEN, after he finally decided to dump Julie and be with Rachel, he tried to hide the list from her but she found it anyway and got rightfully pissed off

THEN he tried to make all sorts of excuses for the list without actually apologizing

THEN he ignored Rachel’s choice to be alone by CLIMBING UP THE SIDE OF THEIR BUILDING INTO THEIR FUCKING BALCONY to try and force her to listen to him read her “Pro-list”

THEN he gets his other friends to let him into the house after Rachel makes it clear that she doesn’t want to see him by going into her room

THEN Rachel tries to explain to him why she’s so hurt by the list by telling him that all the things he wrote on the list were things she actually hates about herself and it sucks he not only agrees with her but actually uses those things as reasons not to be with her

THEN he CONTINUES to try and make excuses for himself and even try to make her feel bad about being mad at him by turning the situation around by saying “If things were the other way around, there’s nothing you could write about me that would make me not want to be with you”

THEN, after Rachel makes it clear that she’s not interested in talking to him, he calls Monica and asks her to turn on the radio since he made a song request for her so he’s basically forcing Rachel to listen to him

SO IN CONCLUSION: He didn’t apologize ONE TIME for the list, he tried to manipulate Rachel into forgiving him by saying she’s overreacting, AND proceeded to ignore Rachel’s wishes for a little bit of space continuously

This has been an anti-Ross psa

Let’s not forget how they married while drunk and after she wanted to get it nulled or just divorce he lied to her about getting the divorce, kept them married without her knowing so he could try to win her back. Like, fuck Ross.