i-am-the-punk-mermaid:

violent-darts:

llleighsmith:

anyone else feel like their spirit is ancient and they’ve been carrying the weight of its heartbreak for an eternity

My dad’s literal first words on holding me for the first time were “ …she’s done this before, and she’s not happy to be back.”

That is such a badass thing to say about a newborn

vitaminsobsession:

fuckyeah-nerdery:

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

buttships-were-meant-2spooky:

this is the best thing in the entire world

she should greet jane as if nothing happened and see how jane reacts

she should avoid school the next day. And the next. Every night, she should put on the exact outfit she had on that day, hose herself down until she’s completely drenched and stand in Jane’s yard. When Jane is home alone, she should approach the window, staring at her. Knock on it if you don’t have her attention. 

That’ll get her back for killing you and trying to hide the evidence.

Ease up there, Satan.

Ease up? SHE TRIED TO KILL HER

therealraewest:

Hey do y’all fucks remember two years ago when just before the election all these “don’t vote both parties are bad” or “vote independent!” Posts were going around and then Trump won and now two weeks before midterms there’s all these “don’t bother voting, revolution is the only way!” And “your vote isn’t gonna matter and is an ineffective way to protest” posts are going around? Yeah knock that shit right the fuck off, don’t fall for it and get your ass to the polls, we are not doing this again.

smoochuu:

hot take: fat girls are allowed to have standards. fat girls are allowed to think you’re ugly and gross and unattractive and that you’re not worth their time. they shouldn’t have to settle because you already have dehumanized them and determined they are worth less than you. why would any woman want to be with a person who thinks she doesn’t respect herself because of the shape of her body? fat women are not easy, we’re not freaks who will do whatever you want to feel approval. we’re not desperate. We have no reason to be grateful for you.

scottymouth:

e-moms:

crentist:

This is my favorite SNL sketch, and it is always so hard to find because it was cut out of the reruns for whatever reason. But it’s so funny. I will never not think this sketch is funny. 

this is so fucking funny also ive been singing ‘aint nothin cuter than a bad country baby eatin peaches off a hardwood floor’ since last night

I’m Dana Jean Harley

spobforpresident:

thatonequeerkid:

vandigo:

kimreesesdaughter:

nickionthemtittieswhenisignit:

nappyhurrdontcare:

kimreesesdaughter:

kimreesesdaughter:

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

THIS JOINT!!!!

BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again. 

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

why is this so funny