misterjazzmaster

bookavid:

the-cloud-road:

theravenbcys:

past tense of william shakespeare? william shookspeare

Wouldiwas Shookspeared

delete this

bordermatecrinkles:

robb-the-reaver:

hardstoplucas1:

When you call somebody’s name but they don’t know where it’s coming from

This is genuinely frightening

You know when a horror movie has so many jokes it feels more like a comedy? This is the exact opposite of that

aphony-cree:

barebackbearyak:

paper-mario-wiki:

nobody likes the “bad boys” who insult and degrade their partners while wearing pastel polos with popped collars, people like REAL bad boys who wear leather jackets and take a lot of care in how they shape their pompadour and carry around stiletto switchblades and care about their communities and ride a motorcycle and rebel against the government and says stuff like “NOBODY insults my gal” and gets in fistfights with dudes who catcall their girlfriends. THOSE bad boys are the guys everyone wants.

We want the boys society says are bad, not actually bad boys

Classic bad boys went against the mainstream masculine society of their time. They embraced attributes that were considered girly: longer hair, use of hair products, appreciation in their appearance, enjoyment of art and music. They rebelled against the notion that as soon as you left high school you needed to work a respectable job, get married, and have 2.5 children. They were bad because they didn’t follow what society said a man should be, and that’s why it was attractive

samwise-the-true-hero:

nightrhain:

cipollakate:

nickthepigeon:

stealing-your-wife:

espeoradar:

samarajournal:

paulichu:

adriofthedead:

zzdigital:

What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.”
“Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?”
“Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.”
“Like what?”
“I dunno. Pizza rolls?”

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?”
“Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”

“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?”
“…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”

“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”

“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”

“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”

“What’s with your thing about necks lately?”

“MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME”

“I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.”

This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins.