misterjazzmaster

morbidmanatee:

tripropellant:

i cannot stop thinking about the noise his head makes when he goes back under the table

W^{H^ATDID HE ^SAY???}

teapupp:

angelpals:

teapupp:

she’s gonna pass her classes and she’s gonna graduate

Who

the girl reading this

vinebox:

polynesianpinup:

diekingdomcome:

ositwotimes:

clarknokent:

daddysmaison:

l0rdfapulous:

teechanell:

After that happens, you go home and fuck the shit outta him 🤷🏽‍♀️

No but seriously

I will always reblog this.

Love changing up her whole mood like this

Sheesh that look thoughh

If theright person does this to me we ain’t gone make it home

Yaaaaaaaaass💦

random-cluster-missile:

Today is the only day you can reblog this

callmeoa:

king-dra:

king-dra:

king-dra:

mark fuckerburg

slap your balls and die

at this point comedy is a moving target and im just flailing my arms in a vain hope to hit it

#you hit it twice man

advanced-procrastination:

trilllizard666:

fortangel:

mediocrepresident:

goldkat-g0negrey:

reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for

YES

No but my dad actually did this at McDonalds in the 70s!

So here’s a true story: my father, sometime in the 70s was looking for his first job. He went to the local McDonalds and told the staff, [manager’s name] said I was supposed to start today. They took his word for it and started training him and by the time the manager saw him and asked who he was, people just said “oh that’s the new guy.”

Somehow this actually worked. My dad worked there for a couple of years as a cook. He even won an award plaque which he had on the wall until the day he died.

Confidence Helps

Me, walking into FBI Headquarters:

“Name’s Burt Macklin, I work here now.”

lastsonlost:

aaliyah-appollonia:

theoriginalpanamajack:

theblackmanonthemoon:

Me as a father 😂

😂😂😂

Lmaooo he does this often! You can tell.

No shame in the game. Super hype supportive dad be like.

sick-with-lisztomania:

lynchbrothers:

So these Christian anti-feminist protestors showed up at my school and were just yelling misogynist things at everyone, when this guy suddenly walks up in front of them mid-rant and just starts…. singing opera

Chaotic good bard

kimidakewooooo:

senpai76:

hman:

“…Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was destroyed early Wednesday morning in what looks to be a Tinseltown first.”

Blessed Image

reblog in less than 30 seconds for good luck

thelittlemightyone:

hi uh this is just a psa

IM ANTI-PEDOPHILE
IM ANTI-MAP
IM ANTI-KINDERGENDER OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS

PUT ME ON THE ANTI MASTERLISTS!!!!

IF YOURE A PEDOPHILE BLOCK ME!!!! IF YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE APOLOGIST BLOCK ME!!! IF YOU BELIEVE PEDOPHILES BELONG ANYWHERE NEAR THE LBGT+ COMMUNITY BLOCK ME!!!!! IF YOU’RE A MINOR ATTRACTED PERSON OR WHATEVER BLOCK ME!!!!

BASICALLY IF YOU’RE AN ADULT WHO IS ATTRACTED TO MINORS AND/OR BELIEVE YOU BELONG ANYWHERE NEAR THE LBGT+ COMMUNITY SMACK THAT BLOCK BUTTON!!!! I DONT WANT YOU INTERACTING WITH ME OR MY POSTS!!!!!! BYE!!!!

WHAT DID HE SAY???

W^{H^ATDID HE ^SAY???}